Gonna Be A Long Walk Home
by BlackEyesLikeStars
Summary: What if Rey grew up in an orphanage on Coruscant? What if, once her Force ability was discovered, she was sent to train with Luke... and Ben? Rey's a sixteen years old girl, orphan, trying to heal herself from the pain of being abandoned. Ben is a twenty years old boy, trying to find peace. (age gap of 4 years bc it would've been strange otherwise). AU
1. Chapter 1

**Hi to everyone! I'm "new" (i.e.: I've read a lot of ffs, especially on this fandom, but I never really thought of writing a story myself).**

 **This is an AU Reylo fanfic, in which Rey grew up in an orphanage on Coruscant and Ben is still at the Jedi Academy with Luke. (but he's still bitter and very angry at everyone. I haven't changes their personalities)**

 **I wanted to narrate a story which is both Jedi-ish (Force and lightsabers and stuff)** ** _and_** **which is somehow connected to my life. I don't know my birth parents, so I feel connected to Rey. (Which is why I'll really insist on this aspect of her personality, the feeling of abandonment)**

 **I hope you all will enjoy this fic! (P.s.: English isn't my first language, even if I talk/read/listen to it all day bc I want to (?), so if I make some mistakes you can tell me, I'll be glad to correct them!)**

A loud noise of a ship wakes me up. Maker, how I hate Coruscant.

I sigh as I lay down on the bed, closing my eyes and lifting my arm on them. Considering that I'll have to wake up early and go to some stupid seminar held by a former pilot of the New Republic, maybe going back to sleep isn't even convenient. Everyone here is excited about that, I'm - or was, since now I'm awake - just annoyed I won't be able to sleep through the morning as I usually do on Benduday. Well, the majority of the orphans here are under the age of twelve - young, always gushing about ships and heroes of the Republic -, and I have already turned sixteen, so maybe I can understand why I'm always so bitter…

Wow, now I feel old. And boring.

Suddenly, I hear someone knocking on my door. I flick the lights on, slowly preparing my eyes for the light, and then I take a glance at the clock on the wall: it's six am. It can't be miss Kris telling me to switch on the light and rise, it's too early. Listlessly, I get rid of the sheets, stand up and walk all the way to the doorway.

«Who's there?» I ask, opening the door before giving the chance to reply to the other person.

A boy, almost frightened, around nine years old. Seriously? Now even the children on the other wing of the building come here to annoy me? I don't close the door only because he seems tired and agry as I am. «Miss Kris told me to tell you that she wants to see you.»

«What in the Universe…» I sigh deeply. «Yeah, thanks, if you see her tell her I'll be there in a sec.» I slam the door on his nose after saying that, sighing once again. When I think it can't get worse, it gets worse. Maybe the Universe holds a grudge against me.

I pick my grey shoes and a grey jacket from the wardrobe, putting them on. I refuse to change my clothes. If my grey pajamas aren't the adequate clothes, then she shouldn't have called me at kriffing six am.

Yawing at every step, I make my way through the endless hallways. There are children litterary _everywhere. Aren't they tired? When I was six I used to sleep since someone woke me up…_

As I arrive to the responsible's office, I mentally prepare myself from the lecture I'm sure I will be given. Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door and, then, I enter the room.

I find miss Kris and a woman around her fourties talking animately in the middle of the office. Confused and a little bit anxious, I start with a: «A kiddo told me you wanted to see me, Miss. And… good morning to the both of you» I add the second part as I suddenly remember the etiquette you have to respect when you meet someone new.

The unknown woman smiles at me, while miss Kris, despite smiling, snorts a little. «You should've been here minutes ago. General Organa doesn't have time to waste.»

I freeze. General Organa? _That_ General Organa? Did I do something _so_ wrong a _general_ has to bring herself in this forgotten orphanage?

«Oh, don't be hard with her.» She gestures me to come near them. «Anyway, I'm General Leia Organa. You are?»

I'm almost tempted to say "don't you know already?", but I stop myself before I can voice my question. «Er, Rey.»

Awkward silence. Maker, sometimes I wish I wasn't so shy. Maybe then I could hold a simple conversation with the General of the New Republic.

«Well, Rey, I suppose you're confused as to why we called you here. Let me explain. Do you know who are the Jedi?» she continues, always with a warm smile on her lips. I merely nod, struggling as I try to make eye-contact without looking weird. «Well, you can individuate if someone has the potential of becoming a Jedi by observing how much Midhiclorians they have in their blood. It came to my attention that your level of Midhiclorians are so high you could become a powerful Jedi.»

I swallow loudly. «Me? I'm sixteen. Jedi take their apprentices when they're young.» I try not to think about the fact that _I could be a kriffing Jedi._

«Well, there are a lot of exceptions, especially if the Force runs strongly in your blood - and let me tell you, it does - and…» She turns to miss Kris with a much less comforting look on her face. «Miss Kris held back this information from us for a lot of time.»

«I didn't know!» she defends herself. «I always thought the results were flawed, she doesn't look like a Jedi and-»

«Well, what is done is done, I'm not angry with you.» She returns to look at me. «Anyway, Rey, what I'm saying to you is that you would be a powerful tool for the Resistance. Would you like to come with me so I can escort you to a Jedi Master, where you'll learn the ways of the Force?»

Me. Like, me, me _me_ , Rey the Orphan, Rey the Brainiac? Really? On so little notice? «Are you sure you're not mistaken? I don't think I can lift something with my thought and I certainly don't have the ability to fight with a lightsaber… I'm rather clumsy.»

She laughs softly, so softly it almost makes me want to laugh too. «Oh, dear, that's up to Luke to decide.»

Who's this Luke, I don't know. The important thing is going away from here. «And… who will I be staying with?» I ask. «I know that since I'm in an orphanage it seems pretty obvious that I don't have parents but… well, I don't have parents. Or relatives, like, at all.»

«With the Jedi Master I'm taking you to. You can trust him: he's the picture of kindness and generosity.»

I feel a rush of electricity travelling down my spine. I turn to miss Kris. «And you'll let me?»

«Of course, child» she kindly replies.

«Then…» I feel a knot in my lungs as I say: «I'll come with you, General.»

§§

I've never thought that my concept of clean wasn't the typical concept of clean. Damn, I've never thought about having a _concept_ of clean before.

Yes, well, seems like I'm going to get used to feel a stupid and rough dirty orphan.

Sounds like fun.

But, as I was saying.

As I step out of the bathroom - a nearly shining white bathroom -, I find some clothes lying on the mattress of my bed. (Yes, I have a bed. General Organa oredered to her men to give me a quarter on the ship we're on. And yes, it's gigantic.) I look around, making sure I'm alone - I'm naked, after all -, and then I go and grab the robes. It's a pair of sandy brown pants and a jumper in the same colour, with a pair of white underwear. They're so soft I almost rub them against my face.

After I'm dressed, I return to the bathroom to watch myself in the mirror. My hair is still soaking wet, and is hanging on my shoulders. I don't really care; I cut it some weeks ago, so they aren't uncomfortable to live with as they're drying off.

As I sit on the white bed, I start rocking back and forth. All this changes… so unexpected changes… they threw me off a little. After being discovered by a pilot while I was four years old on Jakku, I've always lived at the Orphanage on Coruscant. Now I'm in open space, _travelling_ in open space, with new people and a purpose in my life and…

I start to flap my hands, too. It will be okay. I repeat to myself over and over again that it would be okay, no, even better than when I was with miss Kris. And as I start to still, my eyelids become heavy and I fall disgracefully on the bed, finally sleeping.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello to everyone and thanks to all of you who have read this story so far! Especially to** Xanderlike **and** like firing **who reviewed 3**

 **I… forgot the disclaimer. So I'll say it now: I don't own Rey or Ben or any other character of this story. Only the creativity to put this fanfic together. Nor I own the title: it's a song from Bruce Springsteen (The BOSS!)**

 **I also forgot to mention that Rey has some… well, autistic small, little, almost invisible traits? I have Asperger's syndrome so it may reflect on her, but hey, I promise she won't be out of character and she won't be autistic. That would be… strange. Too strange, for her.**

 **Poe is canonically three years older than Ben, so in this story he will be 23/24. He has already joined the Resistance.**

 **Another thing, I have tried to make it as plausible as possible but… I don't know the distance between the different planets of the SW Universe, so I guessed. I hope it doesn't disturb anyone…**

 **AAAAAND I'm sorry if Ben hasn't already showed up - he will be the last one of the characters to actually "meet" with Rey, but don't be sad, he'll be there… in other ways *wink***

When I open my eyes, I hear someone knocking on the door.

 _Again?,_ I think, still sleepy, _it's becoming a constant._

I force myself up and check the time. Eight thirty am. I actually slept through the night without having nightmares or waking up because of the noise. And without my pajamas!

When I open the door, I find myself staring at a guy. Well, a good-looking guy. Older than me, that's for sure; around twenty-five or so. Tanned, not too tall but very muscular. Brown hair and eyes, a growing beard and a piercing look. Speaking of hair, I wonder how bad mine is at the moment.

«Hello, I'm Poe» he says. His voice is low and warm. «You must be Rey.»

«Yeah, I'm Rey.» And what should I say next? I really hate how little I'm prepared to hold a conversation with another human being who isn't under the age of twelve. «Nice to meet you» I add, trying to act nicely.

He chuckles. «Well, Rey, General Organa sent me in order to take you to her quarters. She said to take your time if you need to.»

I shrug. «Well I guess I don't have anything to do. I'm already dressed, so… we can go. Thanks.»

«You're welcome.» As we start walking towards General Organa's quarter, Poe tries again to have a conversation with me. «I'm a pilot, by the way. My ship's an X-wing and I'm of the Red Squadron. I'm on this ship because my team had to buy some parts to repair an old ship which belongs to the General.»

I've read a lot about the various type of ships, but I've never heard of a Red Squadron. I don't want to seem stupid, though, so I pretend to know what that's about. «I know the basics about piloting. I'm probably not as passionate as you, but I like it a lot.»

«Really? Then I will take you to a ride on my lil' baby. Certainly, after being on the _Mirrorbright_ , she won't stand a chance but… she's something.»

I take some time to actually understand that he used "she" to refer to his X-wing and that the _Mirrorbright_ is the ship we're on. «This ship is magnificent. I guess it belongs to General Organa.»

He nods. «Yes, but it's piloted by her assistant, Greer Sonnel. Leia… she isn't exactly interested in ships.»

So he's on first name basis with the General? As I'm about to ask why, he stops in front of a door. «We've arrived. I hope I will not be an inconvenience by staying with you two, I don't have anywhere fun to go.»

Before we can even think of knocking, the door slides open. Maybe it's an automatic system?

We step inside, and the door closes behind of us. Leia Organa is seated on a white couch. Well, everything is white here so I suppose it's unnecessary information. In the room there aren't a lot of things: a desk, three chairs, the couch she's seated on and another one in front of it, and some objects like datapads and papers. There must be at least another room, where she sleeps, because there's a door on the opposite wall of the one from which we entered.

«Good morning, General» I say, bowing my head a little.

«Good morning, dear. Come here, both of you, sit with me. You can stay, Poe, so I won't have to repeat myself.»

We do as we're told, settling in on the other couch.

«First things first, Rey, after we've discussed some things you can go with Poe and have breakfast with some of the pilots here on the _Mirrorbright._ You don't have to starve yourself.» It's almost automatic to smile, she's so nice. «Now, let's talk about our journey plan. Yesterday everything occurred so fast I think I've left out some important details. We're going to stop to Hanna City, on Chandrila, because I have some business there with the Galactic Senate. It won't take long, a day or two. Then, we'll go to Naboo. The Jedi Master Lor San Tekka should be there when we'll arrive. He and my brother travel through the Galaxy with a new generation of Jedi apprentices. It shouldn't be too hard for you to catch up with them, Rey, and if anything where to happen, I need you to know you can always contact me. I and my brother will be your guardians as long as you're underage.» She turns to Poe. «You will come to me to the Queen of Naboo. I think she has found something about the First Order… you'll be my bodyguard.»

«You can count on me, General» Poe says, smirking.

I inhale deeply. «Okay. Thanks for… everything.»

«It's me that should thank you. Accepting to train as a Jedi… you're pretty much saying you'll dedicate yourself to the cause of the New Republic and the Resistance.»

She already said that, but clearly she doesn't want me to make a rush decision. «I know what it involves, and I won't change my mind.»

«Then, I won't disturb you further. I'll let you go and eat something. We have another day and a half of travelling, so if you don't have anything to do, you can go to the small library near the canteen.»

§§

I found out that Poe is friendly and caring, especially with me. If he was my brother, I wouldn't complain. He spent the entire morning with me; we talked about ships, planets, and a bit of our lives (mostly his, I have never done anything comparable to his adventures), even as we ate during lunch. By the way, the food here is so good I almost cried when I tried it.

Now I'm alone in the little library Leia told me about, because he had to go to a special training (or something like that) with the other three or four pilots aboard.

I took three books from the shelves: two of them are about the History of the New Republic, the other one is about the Jedi. Even though I have studied History since yesterday, I don't want to make a fool of myself in case someone of the Republic asked me a question about politics. Coruscant is part of the rather new organisation, but I've never been involved with politics before. I had always thought all those things were useless as all I could have inspired to be was a teacher in the same institute where I grew up.

After reading the two volumes about the Republic, I check the time and discover it's already six pm. Poe told me dinner is at seven forty, so I quietly start to read the last book.

«A Jedi is a force-sensitive individual who uses the light side of the Force… well, this I knew» I murmur.

«Ranks… youngling, I think I'm too old to be a youngling; Padawan, Jedi Knight, Jedi Master… wasn't there a Grand Master before the Empire… ? Oh, here it is. Grand Master.»

I yawn. «A code… I've never read about this before. _There is no emotion, there is peace; there is no ignorance, there is knowledge; there is no passion, there is serenity; there is no chaos, there is harmony; there is no death, there is the Force.»_ I raise an eyebrow. «No passion? No emotion? How could someone… _obliterate_ these feelings and still be called human?»

I feel a shift around me, and when I raise my head, there's General Organa in front of me. I almost scream out of panic.

«I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you» she tells me. «I was here to put this back.» She gestures to the green old book she's holding. «Then I saw how you were so buried in your reading… I had to stop by and ask what you're reading.»

I almost flush. She didn't hear _everything_ I said, did she? «A book about the Jedi. I know something but… this book is really accurate.»

«It's older than me» she laughs. «but it's still accurate, as you said. It's one of the few books that weren't destroyed during the Empire. And one of the few my brother lets me keep.» She puts the book she has in her hands in a shelf, among others which are about politics and stuff I wouldn't understand even if I tried really hard. «Anyway, it's good you find it stimulating. My mom always said that it isn't you who choose the book, the book is the one who chooses you.»

Her mom. She said it so casually I almost found it normal, on the first impact. Then comes the pain. Growing up in an orphanage means no one really talks about moms and dads, especially not so coolly. I let a sigh escape from my lips.

«Oh, I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have said…» she starts, as if sensing my thoughts. «It's almost dinner time. Would you like to join me?»

I force a smile, nodding.

But oh, how much I'd like to have a mother. Someone who loves me unconditionally. I can't even begin to imagine _that_ kind of love. Sure, miss Kris was caring and protective of us, but… she had never been a _mom_. At least, not for me.

We walk silently side by side, and I wish I could talk of my mother with her. A loving and caring mother.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't mean to get lost. I swear.

The more the time passes, the more I feel anxious. I'm starting to regret the decision of visiting Hanna City on my own while General Organa and Poe are now probably at a Reunion with the Galactic Senate. How could I have been so stupid? I had to accept the offer Poe's friend made and be escorted by him. I've never roamed around a city before, how could I expect to make it _here?_ Every time someone brushes against me, I almost instinctively punch them. I've never been violent, but I've trained myself to fight since I was little. I had to defend myself from the other kids. As I grew up, there weren't many people of my age, so it wasn't hard to avoid getting into a fight, but I continued to train. I think I was scared of the future: I didn't know where I was going to end up. Or who I was going to live with.

I halt before bumping into a Pantoran. She's stopped before a stand which is selling jewellery. I observe better what is placed on that board: there's a crystal that caught my eye, far from the other glittering bracelets and necklaces. It's crimson red, so beautiful, so… _tempting…_

 _There's a lot of people. What if I…_

I pause, analysing my thoughts: was I really going to _steal_ it?

«Well, well, madame, did you see something of your interest?»

I almost jump. Then, I face the person who said that to me: a young man, brown hair and eyes, a kind expression painted on his face. «I-I…» I stutter. «No, I… was just…»

«Oh, there's no need to be shy. I won't bite you. If you're wondering, these jewels aren't imitations. You see, they belonged to my family for ages, but my mom's gravely ill and I don't have the money to afford any cure. So I'm selling them. They're of value.»

I know he's telling the truth, but I can't spend all the credits General Organa gave me in a crystal.

Can I?

Well, maybe, if it isn't expensive…

«How much does the red crystal cost?» I ask, biting my lower lip as I say it.

He smiles. «That's… you know, you can take it. It's not really on sale. I found it some years ago, but every time I've tried to sell it, no one ever wanted it. So, if you want it, you can take it. I know nobody's ever going to want it, anyway.»

Does he think I don't have any money? «I can pay you. Gen- Le- My… well, I was given some credits.»

He shakes his head. «Keep it. Take this as a good sign from the stars. You seem… lost.»

I grin. «I don't really know in which part of Hanna City I am now, indeed.»

«I meant… in another way.» I raise an eyebrow, but he doesn't elaborate further. He picks the crystal up, handing it out to me. «It's not going to explode. I promise.»

I smile. «Thanks, then… Mister.»

I take it from his hand, thanking him again, and then I leave. I watch the crystal. It's like I can't tear my gaze away from it. I walk another fifteen minutes, until I feel something strange in the air. It's not a smell, nor a noise. And I'm certain it's not my head making it up. It's just as thought my vision of the world changed suddenly without me being aware of it, as weird as it may sound.

Wait. I'm sure I heard something…

I try to listen more carefully as I step on the side of the road (I don't want to get hit by a landspeeder), but all I hear are chaotic voices… now, I know it may sound stupid - with being in the centre of a Capital City -, but these voices are strange. Different. Almost like it's all in my head… I've never experienced something like that before. It is real as this buildings, I'm sure. I try to concentrate harder, so hard that my head begins to hurt. As suddenly as before, I feel numb. The sounds of the street are muffled, everything seems to dance before my eyes and, before I can get back, I hear a single question.

 _Who are you?_

I'm abruptly taken back to the reality, but I can't shake off the feeling I just had. Cruelty, anger, _hatred_ … what was that about? Yeah, I'm distressed because I got lost, but it wasn't even comparable to those cold feelings.

And, the most important questions among the others: who, in the name of the Great Prairie Winds, was that? Who does that angry, old, inhuman, scary voice belong to? And how could he communicate to me like that? And… why me?

As I'm lost in thought, I get shoved against a wall by a Twi'Lek. _I have other matters to do_ , I try to convince myself. _Such as trying to return to the ship in one piece._

Fortunately, Poe rescued me before I had a panic attack from getting lost. When he found me, crying in an alley, he smiled and guided me back to the ship, telling me a story about a pilot and a Stormtrooper. He said the story was real, but I didn't believe him. Anyway, he didn't mention the fact I looked really vulnerable today.

How can I become a Jedi if I'm so… weak?

However, I had dinner with him and the General. They talked about politics and I tried hard to listen without giving the impression I didn't know anything of what they were talking about (and failed miserably). After that confusing conversation, I got in my room and read a book. Well, I'm still reading.

The book is the one about the Jedi.

I discovered a lot of things, concepts which go beyond the notion of Light and Dark Side. It's… fascinating.

Unexpectedly, my ears start to hurt. _What's wrong with me today?,_ I think, but it's almost as if I can't hear my own thoughts. When I open my eyes, there's a boy in my room.

There's a…

I open my eyes wide.

«Who are you and what are you doing in my room» I force out, not sure if I should start screaming for help.

He seems confused as he answer with a: «I can ask you the same question. And it's you the one who's in my room.»

I swallow. Is he crazy or what? «I can assure you this is my room. You see, this is my bed. Or, well, the bed they gave me, but that's irrelevant.»

«I can assure you you're sitting on my chair.»

As I'm left without words, I take his appearance in. He's tall. That's the first thing I notice, with him standing right in front of me in his sandy robes. He has black eyes and black hair. His eyes… they're _cold._

«Well, I'm confused. Where do you think you are?» he asks. Strange, so strange, that his voice is _warm._

«On… er… Chandrila, yes. Chandrila. And I don't _think_ I am there, I _know_ I am here.»

He snorts. «Well, I'm sure I'm on a ship. So, that leaves only one chance: are you a vision of the Force?»

«Vision of the Force?»

«Are you a Jedi?»

«No. Well, I'm going to. I think.» I stop. «Hey, don't change the subject. A vision of the Force? What are you talking about?»

«Another Jedi-wannabe» I hear him whisper. «I'm saying that you're projecting yourself in my room. Or I in yours. That's… I studied force bonds. I know only of two other examples, but they were different from our situation. Nonetheless, since you weren't on this ship before because I couldn't sense you and now I can, I think a force bond is what happened.»

After this lecture about force bonds, I'm… I have to admit it, more confused. «But I don't know you. How can it be possible?»

He sounds frustrated when he says: «I don't really know.»

Do I have to trust him? He doesn't seem… threatening. Sad and angry, maybe, but threatening…

«I'm Rey» I decide to say.

He looks at me with an incomprehensible expression, and then: «Ben.»

Then, he disappears.

 **A.N.: Thanks for reading this chapter and the previous one! Ben's here, yay!**

 **I hope you liked it… read and review! Till the next update!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Thanks to all of you who followed this story so far. I'm ecstatic.**

 **I know it can be boring, but hold on a little longer - in the next chapter, our friends (?) will finally end their trip and meet… someone. lol.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Nor Bruce's Long Walk Home**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

«I'm sorry, Rey, we're going to stay on Naboo a little longer than I expected.»

«It's not a problem. I love this planet… it's different from Coruscant, completely different, and I totally love it.»

«I can imagine» General Organa says, amused. «Well, then I'll let you stay on my mother's house. It isn't far from the landing pod, no one lives there so you won't be too much disturbed.»

«Oh, I can stay here, you don't have to-»

She shakes her head. «Do not worry. I want you to stay there as long as I and Poe have business with the Queen.»

I smile. «Okay, then. Thank you, General. It's really kind of you. I mean… everything you have done for me so far. Thank you.»

«You're welcome. And, Rey, call me Leia.»

I nod and rose from my seat, excusing myself as I leave the chamber and head towards the dining room. After she told me to call her by her first name… I knew I couldn't have held myself any longer: I would have told her of Ben.

As egoistical as it may sound, I want to keep it private. Maybe I'll tell the Jedi Master about this force bond, but not to anyone here on this ship. I don't want them to ask questions, think I am crazy, or want to tear it apart.

I enjoy his company.

I know that he's not really friendly - he appeared through the Force about a week ago and we've only seen each other five times -, that he's always sulking about something he won't tell me about, and so on; but when he's there, I don't feel alone. We share little details of our day - I discovered he's always training in some sport, and that's the reason behind his muscular body -, and he's always kind. Maybe sometimes cold and detached, as if the bond doesn't interest him, but he has never once been rude to me.

«Rey!»

I halt, noticing Poe running towards me, wrapped in a pilot uniform and with a red helmet under his arm. «I've just arrived from a piloting test of an old x-wing I found on this planet. Do you want to join me in another flight? I'm going to travel around this planet for one hour at most.»

My stomach growls. «I really want to, but I'm hungry» I explain, slightly embarrassed because of the noise my belly made. «And I have to move in.»

«It's no problem, we can have lunch and then go. Leia has planning to do so I don't have anything scheduled for the afternoon. And, she told me about you going to live under her mother's roof. I can bring you there with my ship.»

Why are they so kind? Only because I have the potential to become a Jedi? «Very well, then let's go or I'll eat you.»

* * *

I'm not going to describe what I felt when first I saw this house, nor when I actually understood this was where I was staying. Exactly as I cried when I first tasted decent food, I teared up on this occasion.

This new life, even though really stressing, is _definitely_ worth it.

I try to erase the huge smile that's painted on my face (because it is starting to hurt) but I realize I'm just too ecstatic to keep a steady face.

Leia - yes, I'm trying to learn to call her that - came across me and Poe and gave me other credits, telling me I could eat in a restaurant near this house. According to her, Naboo is a safe planet and nothing will ever happen to me. Anyway, she gave me a bracelet and advised me to push a hidden button in case something goes wrong. She offered me to order to a pilot to come with me, but I declined the offer: I need to stay… alone. I really appreciate Poe's company, but I need my space. I've lived for years being almost completely alone, so even though their attention towards me is praiseworthy, I can't bring myself to stay among people _all the time._

After visiting all the rooms - there aren't many rooms, but they're huge -, I wearily lay on the bed. Made for two people. Maybe this was where Leia's parents slept. As I think about it, I try to imagine Bail Organa and his wife in this house. Taking to consideration the fact that they were from Aldeeran, a planet that was destroyed by the Empire, this house could have been their vacation house.

I sigh. How wonderful it would have been if my mother kept me. If she had a house as beautiful as the one I'm currently living in. If she…

«Hey, you. What's up with all this sadness? Two minutes ago you were so I excited it was _unbearable_ to stay here» says a gruff voice.

When I raise my head, I almost scream. There's a blue… person… in this room.

A blue person, dressed in Jedi robes, a concerned expression and big kind eyes.

Maybe I'm really crazy and Ben was just a product of my madness. And this… young adult? This young adult before me is just Death taking over me and…

«Please, stop. You're not crazy nor dead. I'm Anakin. Not so a pleasure to meet you but, hey, I won't complain too much or Obi-Wan will scold me.»

I don't register what he said as I sat up and continue to panic. «You're a ghost!»

«A _Force_ ghost» he corrects me. «You really haven't ever heard of those? Aren't you a Padawan?»

«A Padawan?»

«A Jedi apprentice.»

I want to cry. «I know what a Padawan is, I'm… Yes. No. Almost. Argh! You know what, just tell me why you are here. I already understood I'm crazy.»

«Don't put yourself down. You're just sensitive to the Force.» He clears his throat. «Anyway, I'm here because I kind of lived here. To put it simple, it was my wife's house.»

«Your wife? Isn't this Bail Organa's house?» Oh Force, am I really arguing with a kriffing _ghost?_

He sounds disoriented as he says: «No, this house belonged to my wife. Padme Naberrie or Amidala as you may know her, she was Naboo's Queen.»

«But Leia told me-»

A warm smile creep into his face. «Leia told you this house belonged to her parents?»

«To her mother» I clarify, not understanding the point of his question.

His smile fades almost instantly. «Oh. I… okay.»

«Why?» I dare to ask.

«Leia is our daughter. Long story short, Padmé died after giving her and her brother birth and I was… gone. She was adopted by Bail Organa, she never really forgave me.»

She was adopted?

I almost ask another question, but he stops me. «I'm not telling you anything else. If she wants, she'll tell you.» I feel ashamed about knowing, now. Kriff. «However, who are _you_?»

«I'm Rey.»

«Rey what?»

«Just Rey. I don't have parents.» I get defensive.

He doesn't pity me, and for this I'm grateful. «Well, Rey, why did Leia send you here?»

«Well, basically she picked me from an orphanage because of my Force abilities, then she had a diplomat mission on Naboo, and here we are. She thought I needed space - and Force, I need it - so she sent me here.»

He smiles. «It's a good thing. The view from here is wonderful, just as this household is. I spend here a lot of my time, when I'm not following my children around the Galaxy.»

He sounds and looks friendly. More friendly than Ben, I have to admit, but… I prefer his company to Anakin's one. Maybe because he's really a living person. «So, were you a Jedi?»

He nods. «The best.»

Jedi's lists were all burned and the only ones which are still there are kept in a safe place by the Jedi Masters. That's what I learned after asking Leia about it.

Wait. «Weren't Jedi committed to-»

«Yes» he answer, annoyed. «A stupid rule, the one about castity. If it wasn't for that, maybe I could have had an happy family.»

I touched a sore spot. Kriff. «If it can make you feel better, I bet Leia loves you and that something deep in her heart, maybe, clutches to the idea of you.» _As I do._

He cracks a smile. «You're a good person, Rey. Now I have to go, Yoda is calling me and I feel something shifting in the Force. I'll watch over you too. Make sure to say to Leia I really love her, when you see her.»

«I promise.»

«Well, then goodbye, Rey.» He offers his hand.

I grasp his hand, squeezing it. _It's hard_ , I think, _What is it made of, steel?_ «Bye, Anakin.»

As he vanishes, I let myself fall down on the bed.

Will my life be full of ghosts and force bonds?

(... Not that I complain.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi! Sorry if I hadn't updated sooner, but I had a very tough oral test about Italian Literature and Dante.**

 **Soooo. Last chapter set on Naboo.**

 **Hope you'll like it!**

 **Leave a little review if you can, they encourage me to continue with this story.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

«Ignore me.»

«How could I ignore someone who's half naked in my room? Can't you just… put something on and, I don't know, go away?»

«I have to meditate and I can't if I'm sweating. It's too hot here.»

«Then go away! I have to take a shower and change before catching up with-» _I was saying Leia, I have to be more careful, I don't know him and for all I know he could even plan an ambush._ «my travelling companions.»

He sighs. «I can face the wall and-»

«No!»

He massages his eyes with his thumb and index finger. «I don't know how to severe the connection, you know that.»

I sit down on the floor, in front of him, disheartened. I have about half an hour to change, reach the bay and meet up with Poe, Leia and the others. How can I if Ben is here? I don't want to roam around Naboo smelling _and_ in my pajamas.

And why does he need to meditate so much that he can't wait for the connection to fade? What is he, a monk?

Questioning his hobbies won't take me far. I have to find a solution. I have to… _argh, it's so hard to say…_ negotiate.

«You promise?» I ask, speaking so softly I'd be surprised if he heard.

«To do what?»

He really understood, I'm… impressed. «Not to look.»

«I'm not a pervert.» He slowly turns around, facing the wall of my room. «I can assure you there's no mirror where I am now. In fact, I'm on a hill.»

I can only believe him. «Well, then… don't look.»

«I've already said I won't.» He doesn't sound annoyed - as he should logically sound -, but rather detached. I know he isn't all hugs and smiles but today he almost seems another person.

Carefully, I start to undress, shooting a glance at him every now and then. I step in the bathroom - being naked on a hill is a very embarrassing picture, and I thank the Force that no one else can see me like Ben's able to - entering the bathtub. I sink in the hot water I have prepared before Ben interrupted me, groaning for the pleasure it brings. In the orphanage, if you found hot water when you woke up you were either the staff or an _extremely_ lucky child.

And no, I was never lucky.

I try not to waste time, knowing I don't have enough of it, and after ten minutes of scrubbing and enjoying myself, I get out of the tub and pick a white cloth placed on the sink. I dry myself off, rubbing fiercely my hair until it gets a little less heavy, and then I return to the bedroom. Ben's still there, facing the wall, and I can't help but smile. He kept his promise.

I dress as quickly as possible, choosing the grey suit Leia gave me yesterday. Finally dressed, I collect my belongings - the bag in which I put the clothes I wore yesterday and the crimson red stone I bought.

«I'm done» I warn Ben. «And I'm going. You know, to catch up with my companions.»

I could swear that as this words left my mouth, I felt something cold and heavy against my chest. However, it vanished before I could even complain.

«So?» he asks.

I blink. «So… well, I'm going. Bye.»

He gives out a noise to let me know he heard, but doesn't even turn around.

With a _oh so familiar_ emptiness in my heart, I pick my bag and storm out of the room.

* * *

I don't know why I feel like this.

So… hurt.

I've never had any real friend - Force, I've never had any family -, so it's not like I felt betrayed or hurt by someone who I appreciated. I've never grown attached to people, for they were bound to abandon me. To be adopted or transferred. Or they would have realized I wasn't as special as they thought at first.

I had imaginary friends. Some from the books I read, some I completely made up by myself. They helped me get through my childhood and my first years as a teenager. But they couldn't hurt me, and I was always safe from heartache. I spent days and days living in my head, and everything around me was in the background. My life was never out there. I was never out there.

Upon meeting Leia and Poe, I found myself fear their abandonment, their rejection, their anger - I can't tolerate anger. I found myself living for the first time outside, and it was - it _is_ \- scary.

With Ben, it was another story. Better to say, I thought it was another story. I thought he was a ghost of my mind, maybe a joke of the Force, but something - someone - that would just keep me company in my lonely days.

Turns out it isn't like that at all.

Turns out I've grown attached to him.

… Turns out he hasn't. Or else, he wouldn't have behaved like that, today.

I shake my head. I can't think about it, not now, not upon catching up with Leia and the others, or they will ask questions and I don't know if I'll be able to lie so openly about what I feel about Ben.

I almost slap my face when the thought crosses my mind.

I _feel_ something. For Ben.

Kriff. I hope this feelings will be circumscribed in the "friend" area. Right now I don't feel "attracted" to him and I hope it will stay as it is. I don't need to struggle for a boy who clearly doesn't like me.

«Rey!»

I straight up, now conscious of the fact I was closing myself off of the world. «Poe» I force out, before clearing my throat. «I hope I'm not late.»

«Not at all, but I have to let you know we have just had breakfast and we haven't left anything.»

I chuckle. «No problem, you voracious pilots will make it up to me at lunch.»

«How so?» he asks, as we start embarking on the _Mirrorbright._

«Giving me all of your desserts, obviously.»

As we get on board, we silently decide to go to the cockpit and ask Leia our new direction. I greet all of the pilots I see while we make our way, while Poe mostly yawns al the time.

«Didn't you sleep?» I finally ask.

He shifts uncomfortably. «Not so much.»

He doesn't add anything, so I don't push the subject.

Leia told me that the Jedi Master would have been here on Naboo, but I haven't met him so far and, from all I understood, we'll leave the planet today.

When we arrive to our destination, the doors of the cockpit automatically open. The first person we see is Greer Sonnel.

«Good morning Dameron, good morning Rey.»

We smile politely at her. «Good morning.»

She then leaves, and we enter the room.

There's Leia in front of us, and a man beside her. Is he the Jedi Master? I swallow. If he _is_ the Jedi Master… am I presentable? I don't feel like I am presentable. My hair is still wet, for Force's sake.

Leia gestures to come near to them. «Good morning you two. Rey, Poe, may I introduce you to my husband?»

 _Her… husband?_

 _He isn't the Jedi Master, is he?_

«It's a pleasure to meet you, sir» I say, nervously, as I take in his appearance. He doesn't look like one. He wears dark trousers, a white shirt and a leather brown jacket. Hooked to his belt there's a gun.

He grins. «No need for these formalities, kid. Call me Han.» He then looks at Poe. «Well, you must be the pilot Leia told me about. Have you ever heard of the Millennium Falcon?»

… Han. Millennium Falcon. Leia's husband.

Wait.

Is he _the_ Han Solo?

Before Poe can say something back, the door suddenly slides open. I turn around, and come face to face with a middle-aged man with piercing blue eyes. I feel something different, but I can't exactly point out what it is.

Then, he speaks.

«Leia. The First Order assaulted Lor San Tekka's temple. He and his students have escaped…» A pause. «But Ben is nowhere to be found.»


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.: Thanks to all of you who read this story so far. If you don't mind, leave a little review… pleeeease? It will make me happy** **and it will be easier to carry on when I have tough weeks as this one who's finally ending. Studying Math, Chemistry, Physics, Italian Literature, History, Philosophy AND finishing an art project in five days gave me an hard time…**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

«Thank you for letting me stay here» I say, as I observe the room I'm in. there are posters of ships everywhere, as I would have expected, and a few holos on the nightstand. The rest of the room is oddly impersonal: one bed with white sheets, a wooden wardrobe and that's it. I pause and observe the holo that's closer to me. It portrays Poe and another guy who seems close to his age, with darker skin - for what I can tell, since the Holo gives a blue touch to all of the colors - and nice looks.

«Well, unluckily we don't have any room left» Poe apologizes. «So I think I'll let you stay here as long as it takes to us to get you a quarter.»

I sit on his - for now, my - bed. It's not as comfortable as the one I had on the _Mirrorbright,_ but I won't complain. After all, we're in a rebel base on D'Qar, not in a resort.

«I heard the Jedi Master will soon come here» he continues. «So I'll go to my friend's. If you need me, ask someone where Finn's room is, and come without any problem.»

«Thanks for the anxiety» I cry. «Anyway, thank you. I'll try not to break anything.»

He's out of the room in no time.

I exhale. These last few days have been… chaotic. After who I understood was Leia's brother came to us and told us that her and Han's son was lost somewhere in the space, everyone went crazy about how dangerous it was for him to be left alone and the possibilities he was dead or alive.

Strangely enough, Leia and Han were the only ones to be - or appear, I couldn't tell - calm. As if this Ben Solo was a reckless child and it was so typical for him to run away it wasn't a new to them. Or at least, that's what I think after seeing their reactions.

Since I wasn't really interested in politics and didn't read anything on the HoloNet and since in the orphanage the only thing the other children wanted to see on the Holoprojectors were films and cartoons, I didn't know Leia had a son. Or a husband. Or a brother. In other words, everything I knew about her was what was written on the History book. However. Since all of this, Poe told me the basics: she and Han have a son, younger than him but older than me, he's called Ben and he's training to become a Jedi with Luke Skywalker, Leia's brother.

(How these two can be related, he didn't know.)

We didn't talk much about him, mainly because Poe didn't know him well.

Talking about people who are called Ben, I've only seen him for what felt like thirty seconds. While I was on the _M_ _irrorbright_ , travelling to come here on D'Qar; I was waking up from a dumb nightmare about an evil Gungun when I saw him. He was standing centimetres away from me, a concerned expression on his face. When I asked him for how long he was here, he had only begun to answer when he disappeared.

Thinking about it, I should be upset about how he was watching me while I couldn't know, but it didn't feel _wrong._

My train of thought stops as I hear someone knocking on the door. I stand up, opening it.

«I'm glad to meet you at last» a rather old man says. Grey hair, blue eyes and light skin. «I'm Lor San Tekka, the Jedi Master Leia told you about.»

I have to admit it, he looks as I pictured him: old, kind and… emanating a calming aura. «Nice to meet you, too. I'm Rey.»

He smiles. «Would you like to join me in a walk, so we can talk a little?»

I nod, and as I close the door behind me, he starts to move and I try to keep up his steady pace.

«You have questions, this I can say. I have too, so, we can begin with one question to you and one to me and so on» he suggests.

«Sounds okay to me» I merely agree.

«Well, then if you don't mind, I'll begin. Where are you from?»

Without thinking, I reply: «Didn't Leia tell you?», and not even a second later: «I'm sorry, I meant-»

He chuckles. «She told me. In fact, when we had the new there was a force sensitive on Coruscant, it was me the one who was instructed to go and rescue you. But we had some problems…» he trails off. «However, I want to know something about you. So, you used to live on Coruscant: how was it?»

 _How was it?_ I thought his questions would have been more… specific. «Not bad, but not good either. It was okay I guess. I mostly lived in my head, so it wasn't like I was disappointed by my lifestyle.» When he doesn't say anything back, I decide to ask a question myself. «Ehr… sorry if I'm sticking my nose in something that doesn't regard me, but… have you found Leia's son? And are the others well?»

«You're asking me about them before asking about what'll be of you now?» he voices.

«Yes…» I say, confused. «It's not me who is in life danger. I think. I hope.»

He looks as confused as I am. «You're right, but… well, anyway, he's still nowhere to be found. Master Skywalker is still worried something happened to him, but I think he's just gone somewhere to meditate alone. I know a week has almost passed, but I'm still pretty sure about my theory.» He clears his voice. «Mh. You're interesting, Rey. Tell me, do you know who are your parents?»

«I don't even know if they're dead or alive» I tiredly confess. «I wouldn't be surprised if they simply were out there, living their life without thinking about me. It's true I was on Coruscant when Leia came to bring me here, but I was on Jakku first. I was four years old when I was found by a Resistance pilot.» Almost knowing in advance what he is thinking, I add: «I don't know how I survived. The pilot only told to the staff at the orphanage that I was alone in a tavern when he found me, and I don't remember anything about that time.»

«I understand. Now, your turn» he exhorted.

I smile. «It's pretty obvious, but… where will I go, now? With you? I'll become a Jedi, won't I?»

«For the first two question I fear I have no answer. My temple was destroyed last week, so I and my other students will have to find another safe place where the First Order won't find us. Will you come with me? I don't know. Maybe, when Ben will be found, you'll go with Master Skywalker. We haven't really talked about it; when I found out about you, I was warned about a First Order attack, too. So, even if I informed him, I haven't had the time to meet up with him.» I find myself relieved; I have time. I don't have to get on a ship and sail to the space again. «For the last question: yes, if you want to. You have to know it will be hard; since Force sensitives nowadays are easily found at a very young age, you'll have to make a lot of efforts to catch up with other students. You're still young, of course, and at your age it's not impossible to apprehend faster than everyone else, but, as I said, it will be difficult. I imagine you had time to think about it on these days… if you don't think you're ready, I'm not pushing you to leave everything and come to me or Master Skywalker when we'll figure out where you should go. Obviously, since it's possible you'll go to the Dark Side, you'll have to have one hour per week to meditate with other people who decided not to become a Jedi.»

He can't be serious. How can someone find out he has powers normal people don't have, and refuse to train?

As if he read my thoughts, he explains: «A lot of people don't want to commit to the order. Some of them thinks that training is annihilating, others don't want their children taken from them, so they wait for them to become at least teenager so they can decide on their own.»

That makes more sense.

«I want to become a Jedi, I really do» I tell him. «I want to make my life… purposeful.»

He smiles. «It's the right path, then.»


End file.
